There are several ways to parent and raise children, but are they all good and/or effective? Studies and results say no. There is a certain way of parenting that helps our children to grow up as responsible citizens with morals and values who have high-self esteem, work ethic, and desire to do good; this way of parenting helps our children to succeed in whatever they decide to and helps them stay clear of things that are harmful or not beneficial to them, such as drugs, alcohol, laziness, etc. What is this way of parenting? In this post, I will talk about the three ways to parent; I will explain what they are and which one is the most effective so to help you avoid and/or adopt good parenting principles that will be a blessing to both you and your family.

Parenting Style #2: Autocratic (Dictator)

This dictator-like style has been used for centuries, yet it is not the most effective. This parenting style involves telling our children what to do without giving them a choice and demanding respect even if we are not giving them respect. This parenting style also involves us focusing much on what the child is doing wrong and controlling a lot of our child and their life, which can be a problem in all ages but more especially in the life of a teen, for they are striving for independence. The Autocratic parenting style can have a very negative effect on our children. This style can cause our children to have lower self-esteem, have little trust and confidence in themselves, and have little motivation to try hard. This style can also drive our children away from us and leave them feeling inadequate and feel that we like them. This style can often result in mental health issues for the child. The parent is more concerned about their power/control rather than the child.

Parenting Style #2: Permissive (Doormat)

In an effort to overcome the autocratic/dictator-like parenting style, the permissive parenting style was made. However, this style swings too far to the other side of the pendulum. This style is where a parent lets their child take advantage; the child is the boss of the household rather than the parent. Instead of saying or doing anything that may cause contention/friction or may cause the child to be upset, the parent avoids all this and does/says things to please the child despite their dissatisfaction with the child’s behavior. The parent is more concerned with the child liking them rather than focusing on what the child truly needs. This style results in children who are spoiled and entitled; these children often don’t know many skills and are less likely to do or commit to hard things. The child can grow up without fulfilling their potential.

Parenting Style #3: Active (Respectful Leader)

Being an active parent is the best! An active parent is a leader in the home. An active parent understands that their children are people, too, and they want to be able to choose their life and feel fulfilled and happy. Children’s brains, however, are not fully developed, so their decision-making can be irrational, incomplete, non-comprehensive, and superficial. This is why our children need guidance, direction, and teaching all while loving and respecting them, as well as letting them have some autonomy and choice in their life. Parents need to listen to their child, empathize, encourage, support, and work with their child for solutions. They also need to not be a push-over; as they give the child respect, they must also make it know that they desire respect as well. They act as a team. All these things are what an active parent does. They involve the child, when they are old enough, in the decisions, rules, and consequences if rules are broken. This parenting style has the best effect on children. Children feel better about themselves (high self-esteem), they have a higher emotional intelligence/health, they respect others and themselves, they are more successful and driven, and more love fills their hearts.

Being an active parent will greatly bless your family’s life. Make the changes necessary to be an active parent and watch your home life slowly but surely transform.