Divorce is a rather sad topic to discuss and the choice to divorce is a very individual. My aim in this post is not to change anyone’s decision to divorce, but rather it is to help people know some of the effects/consequences of and think wisely and thoughtfully about their decision to divorce. For those of you who are not considering divorce, this post is even more directed toward you so you can help those you know who are getting or have been divorced. That being said, I will explain some aspects and effects of divorce.

Divorce Aspects

When a person gets divorced, they don’t just separate and physically divorce from their spouse; they experience several other divorces as well. There are six other types of divorce that take place and they are called the six stations of divorce; they are:

1. Emotional Divorce. Emotional divorce involves a lack of respect, affection, and trust. Rather than love and support, the spouses try to hurt one another and often feel hurt themselves; they don’t see their spouse in the brightest light. This can happen before the physical divorce as well as after.
2. Legal Divorce. Legal divorce is when the court brings the marriage to an end. This breaks all ties with the previous spouse; partners are no longer obligated to one another and both have the opportunity to remarry.
3. Economic Divorce. Economic divorce involved dividing up assets and property. Oftentimes, one or both partners feel they are not receiving their fair share or their needs so to live comfortably, and they may feel a loss of living without something they greatly cherish. There can also be much argument and conflict between both partners about who gets what.
4. Co-Parental Divorce. Co-parental divorce is experienced by families who have children. Decisions are made concerning custody, child support, visitation rights, and all other continuing parenting responsibilities. This can often be the most bitter part of the divorce, especially if the parents don’t protect them from the struggles of divorce and if the parents use the children as weapons or manipulation.
5. Community Divorce. Community divorce means that each partner from the divorce leaves one community of relationships and friends. Many of the friends the couple shared often side with one of the partners or feel unsure as to how to interact with both or either one of the partners. Relationships with former in-laws may be non-existent, minimal, and/or strained. In addition, the partners find new people to date which opens up new friend groups and communities.
6. Psychic Divorce. Psychic divorce is when the partner has to change their mindset and really understand that the previous relationship is over and that they have to adapt to and think of themselves as being single. This can cause a person to feel a lack of wholeness and completeness for a time, but over time, they can feel whole.

Divorce Effects

There are many effects of divorce, likely ones you have already heard about. I would like to mention some of the divorce effects on just the couple.

1. Positive Outcomes. As a result of divorce, there can be positive outcomes depending on the situation. There can be more optimism, personal growth, and spiritual comfort as well as improved communication and conflict skills. Those in high-stress or abusive marriages may feel an increased feeling of happiness, safety, and security after a divorce. The two who got divorced may feel increased autonomy and independence – a discovery of their own identity. Divorce is more likely to be positive for females, and a positive outcome is more associated when there is a support group.
2. Health Problems. Physical and emotional health problems are common in those who are divorcing, both while the divorce is happening as well as long after the divorce. Many of these problems may occur due to the stress of the whole situation.
3. Interaction between former spouses. This interaction between former spouses can be either good or bad, friendly and pleasant or unfriendly and uncomfortable. It can happen frequently (especially if kids are involved), infrequently, or not at all.

With any decision, we all need to be informed. For those of you who are considering divorce or have a friend, family member, or someone you care about who is considering divorce, I hope you will take this knowledge to heart and be able to use it to benefit yourself and others. Thanks for reading!