We can help marriage and families to thrive in many ways. For example, we all have heard of improving communication, spending more time together as a couple, implementing more empathy and understanding, etc. All of those principles are great. Today, however, I want to discuss some different ways you can improve your marriage and family life, ways I never knew before I studied the cited article below. To explain those ways or principles, I will explain the Family Systems Theory and which assumptions we, as individuals and families, need to be aware of if we are going to understand the importance of and enact these principles into our families.

Family Systems Theory

The Family Systems Theory is a theory that states that the family is an emotional and social unit and thereby must be evaluated as such, not in isolation. This theory states that the whole of the family is greater than the sum of its parts.

5 Family Systems Theory assumptions and Principles:

1. Circular causality guides behavior: the idea that what people do and say affect many others in several different ways and directions. For example, when there is a fight between a husband and wife, each does something because the other is doing something they don’t like; they don’t know with whom the problems start because they are stuck in a cycle. This reinforces the negative behavior we don’t appreciate in others. Problems do not lie in one individual; it lies in the entire family.
   1. Principle: We all have positive and negative circular causalities. Recognize your negative circular causalities and stop the cycle. We can choose to partake in the cycles we desire.
2. Rules result from the redundancy principle and are critical in defining a family. Rules are created right when a couple meets, and several of our reservoir of rules are used in every situation over and over. We all know about the rules we verbally express, such as “no running in the house”. However, are we just as aware of the nonverbal, never expressed rules we may use? Such as expectations for the husband to make all the money for the family.
   1. Principle: Families need clear rules so they can feel safe and secure. If there are unspoken rules/expectations that are negative, the family suffers. I invite you to recognize the unspoken rules you may place on your family and evaluate their need and usefulness for the family. I then invite you to either make those rules known to the family and/or get rid of the ones that are not serving your family.
3. Feedback loops guide behavior. Feedback loops are a way families try to correct behavior and return to homeostasis or equilibrium (normal behavior). There are negative and positive feedback loops. Negative feedback loops are not bad; they discourage any behavior that is out of line for the family. For example, a mom may give her son “the look” which discourages him from reaching in the cookie jar again. Positive feedback loops are not necessarily good; they encourage the behavior that will create balance and homeostasis. For example, a person is encouraged to break free from a dysfunctional situation so they may find balance.
   1. Principle: I invite you to look at your life and see what your positive and negative feedback loops are. Remember, feedback loops are needed; however, we don’t want to become manipulative or controlling as we strive to use these feedback loops to get back to homeostasis. Are your feedback loops serving you and your family well?
4. All family members take on roles, which are recurring behaviors an individual makes to contribute to family functioning. Each of us has a role to play in our family. If our roles are not clearly defined, however, it is difficult to cope with stress, both individually and as a family.
   1. Principle: Look at your roles, good or bad, in the family; do you know them? How do your roles affect your family? Do the members of your family know their roles; how do their roles affect the family?
5. Family types are based on the rigidity of family boundaries. All families need to have boundaries. Much of family life is private and must stay within the marriage and family. However, we also want to interact with others. We don’t want to be overly private nor overly open; both result in the destruction of the family.
   1. Principle: Look at the boundaries you have with others around you and your family. Are you more private, open, or in between? Do you have boundaries between your spouse? We don’t want to have boundaries between our spouse, for that destroys the oneness of marriage and may destroy the marriage altogether.

I hope these tips help!

References:

Ingoldsby, B. B., Smith, S. R., & Miller, J. E. (2004). Exploring family theories: Second edition. Family Systems Theory. Retrieved from

file:///C:/Users/chelsRJ/Downloads/faml360_document_ingoldsbyCh5.pdf

Imagine with me this scenario: your child/family/friend is sick with some sort of flu and you go on the internet in search of home remedies, but when you press the search button, thousands of search results and articles pop out, many of which say differing things than the article or search result next to it. You are left feeling confused and unsure the more you read. Does this sound familiar? Or maybe you search what is the best nutrition for gaining muscle or losing weight to find yet the same differing and contradicting results. What are we to believe? Many times, and I am guilty of this, we align our beliefs with what may be most popular or mainstream, but that may not always be the best decision.

Today, I will tell you some truths about a certain book published in the U.S. many years ago. This book was based on very little research, yet we all have heard of and even believe many of the concepts outlined in this book. U.S. citizens, as well as some other countries, believed so strongly in this book that it has been a basis for many changes in social policy that greatly affects our families and perceptions of families in our modern day. This would be fine if the book was backed by good scientific studies and data, but it wasn’t. Many of us have been told lies, and we are believing them.

The book discussed above is called The Population Bomb by Dr. Ehrlich. It was written in 1968, which was a critical time because it was just after the U.S. Baby Boom era had finished. Ehrlich made large claims, saying that by the mid-70’s, millions of people would be starving to death, the environment would be degraded, and India was going to fizzle out.

What data did Dr. Ehrlich have to support his claims? He went to India and saw much poverty and starvation among the people. He also know that India had a very high birth rate at the time. He then thought of the U.S. and saw that the population had raised due to the Baby Boom. He figured that the U.S. population would continue to grow as exponentially as it did during the Baby Boom era and cause us to suffer starvation and environmental effects. Based on what he saw and figured, he made those large claims. He did not conduct valid or largely studied/experimented research. Despite this fact, his claims were spread to over 90 countries and fear of having a family settled in many people’s hearts. In addition to fear, people concluded that having less kids was the right and ethical thing to do; it was considered selfish to have a big family. This caused many people to have smaller families and the U.S. fertility rate began to decline.

We now see that millions did not die of starvation, India has not fizzled out, and our environment has not (as of now) degraded. Yet people often still have the belief that we need to have small families to save the earth. On the contrary, research tells us that the Americans aren’t having enough children to replace the population. Research shows that to replace the world population, each woman needs to birth 2.13 children in their lifetime. However, recent data tells us that, on average, each U.S.women are only birthing 1.87 children in their lifetime.

Though we could talk more about the need for more births, this isn’t as much of a discussion about encouraging births as it is about encouraging you to know fully what information you are choosing to believe.

Generally Trusted Research Articles have:

• Sites that end with gov., org, or edu.
• Been peer-reviewed
• A methods section
• Rather large research samples
• A comparison or control group as well as an experimental group
• Non-biased studies (such as a double-blind study)
• Many studies and references concerning the same content (can be experimented again and get the same result)

The above bullet points are just a few tips to help you when you are searching for truth. My desire for you all is for you to better align your life with truths, not only about marriage and family, but also about every aspect in your life. I would encourage you to evaluate what you believe is true and seek out the source to determine if it is good and true information or not. And if you are wondering what is true and can’t seem to find it, I would like to remind you that God is the source and author of all truth. I invite you to humbly and sincerely look to God so to understand and learn the truths you seek; He will help you.

References:

Khan Academy. Accessed January 17, 2020. The baby boom. Retrieved from https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/us-history/postwarera/postwar-era/a/the-baby-boom

Central Intelligence Agency. (2018). The world factbook. Retrieved from https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/fields/356.html

Weltarchiv4. (2014, July).The New Economic Reality Demographic Winter Part 1. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8XQjfG2wYc

Weltarchiv4. (2014, July).The New Economic Reality Demographic Winter Part 2. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw3OQgFsHZI

Welcome to my blog! My name is Krista James-Wall. I am a wife, a daughter of God, and an undergraduate college student. I am a cheerful and fun-loving person and enjoy many hobbies and interests including singing, dancing, reading, doing anything outside or sportsy, and learning. My major in college is Marriage and Family Studies and helping marriages and families learn how to function and live healthily and joyfully is my passion. I have started this blog to share what I have learned and will continue to learn about the truths of marriage and family in our modern world. There are many confusions concerning which family dynamics are the best, how each family dynamic affects children and generations after them, and how family dynamics affect our communities and nations. In addition, there are many difficult and painful relationship hardships that we all want to know how to help, cope with, and/or fix.Truths and insights about these aspects and more will be shared on this blog. Please stay tuned and feel free to comment with any opinions or questions you have; I will try to respond to as many as possible :). I will be posting every week! Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.